Acceptance
Today, for the first time in a long time I truly felt accepted by something I felt has been dwindling away, family. My situation is unique, especially having a parent that could technically be my grandfather. With that said, yes, most of my family is more than 30 years older than me. I have always felt comfortable around older people. Probably because of my family dynamic, life situations, and the fact that I don’t look at age as an issue in most cases. At one point in time many years ago from what I have heard and seen in pictures everyone was close. Sure you have your issues here and there but traditionally the older generations stuck together and set aside time to “keep the family together”. I got to experience that for myself when I was young, super young, but that ship has slowly sailed away as the years have progressed. People die, fight, move away, become bitter, ect. Through all the craziness, I have always longed for family gatherings or events with the “wider family”. I must say the intimate family does see one another but it’s on rare occasion that the entire family makes the effort to come together. I have always said in my head that I would take the extra step and keep everyone connected. On the other hand, I never felt fully connected enough to make that leap. So as I grew older I established a separate family “The Posnack Family”. A family in which I chose and with people I could look up to and gain full acceptance from. Similar to my own, that family also went their separate ways. At that point I knew it was up to me to keep the ties strong or else it would slowly disappear too. With much persistence, passion, and efforts from both parties, that family has managed to stay together even with some difficult ones. And today I realize, I need to do the same with my given family.
The Good News! Was that I got a package in the mail. I opened it and immediately broke into a smile and feeling of such happiness. A personalized letter from my Honors advisor came with a beautifully wrapped Honors medallion. I looked down at it and felt pure victory. I had gone to my University because of the Honors program and graduating with it gave my four years meaning and purpose. Well, the package couldn’t have come at a better time because my family from Miami was coming up to celebrate my graduation (and now Honors accomplishments) at a dinner. Seeing people I haven’t seen in a long time made me even happier. We celebrated my accomplishments and I truly felt a sense of genuine acceptance. As much as I wanted to feel that from some of my intimate family members from a previous event, I didn’t. As much as I always have hope, I need to get it through my head that “it is what it is”. Older people are hard to change, especially if their thinking is a little askew. One of the wishes in the letter I received was to find a way to celebrate and truly reflect on the hard work and dedication I put in. Today, I did just that, and it was nice to feel appreciated and to have people on my side. I hope the rest can do the same, and see what’s standing right in front of their eyes. Worrying doesn’t solve anything, it just makes us more and more insane by the minute. Take time to reflect, enjoy, and be present in the moment, that’s what life’s all about.
